College Life;

Fumblerules of Grammar

Late-1979, New York Times columnist William Safire compiled a list of “Fumblerules of Grammar” — rules of writing, all of which are humorously self-contradictory — and published them in his popular column, “On Language.” Those 36 fumblerules can be seen below, along with another 18 that later featured in Safire’s book, Fumblerules: A Lighthearted Guide to Grammar and Good Usage.

Trivia: Safire previously worked as a speechwriter and was, in 1969, responsible for penning Nixon’s thankfully unused and incredibly chilling, “IN EVENT OF MOON DISASTER” speech.

(Source: Maximum Awesome; Image: William Safire in 1968, courtesy of NYTimes.)

1. Remember to never split an infinitive.
2. A preposition is something never to end a sentence with.
3. The passive voice should never be used.
4. Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
5. Don’t use no double negatives.
6. Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn’t.
7. Reserve the apostrophe for it’s proper use and omit it when its not needed.
8. Do not put statements in the negative form.
9. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
12. Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
13. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
14. A writer must not shift your point of view.
15. Eschew dialect, irregardless.
16. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
17. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!
18. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
19. Hyphenate between sy-llables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.
20. Write all adverbial forms correct.
21. Don’t use contractions in formal writing.
22. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
23. It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
24. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
25. Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have snuck in the language.
26. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
27. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
28. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
29. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
30. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole.
31. Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
32. Don’t string too many prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
33. Always pick on the correct idiom.
34. “Avoid overuse of ‘quotation “marks.”‘”
35. The adverb always follows the verb.
36. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They’re old hat; seek viable alternatives.
37. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
38. Employ the vernacular.
39. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
40. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
41. Contractions aren’t necessary.
42. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
43. One should never generalize.
44. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
45. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
46. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
47. Be more or less specific.
48. Understatement is always best.
49. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
50. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
51. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
52. Who needs rhetorical questions?
53. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
54. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with a point

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As I start a new (degree) study this year and we are to work with a system based on ‘problem-solving’ when I spotted this (below) in the Irish Times (How to be a Green Student) I thought it might be relevant.

Sat 29th Oct;

Busy week as I had Monday for homework and pulling together my notes as Scribe for Group 2 lot to consider after the meeting on Fri last I also had to attend a board meeting on Tues morn in WIT (and subsequent report) and make some calls on the way home in Dungarvan. At least the bus ride to and from Waterford was worth it. Highlight of the week. After a poor weekend (weather-wise) and severe flooding in Dublin the countryside looked freshly washed and new in the soft winter (warm) sunshine. Fantastic drive – reminded me of why we moved here. ‘Met’ Pio – virtually and we seem to be on track though we need more references and some work on project management. Nearly all day Friday behind computer  - and today Sat looking that way too!

Fri 22 Oct
Had a fruitful day yesterday. I visited a jobs seminar in Waterford City and then had lunch in WIT hitched-hiked to Phyllis’s B&B Ashleigh where group 2 had a face to face meeting to sort out our project on the surf school that’s having serious time-management problems. I’ve to so some work on time and project management. Happy to take any help on same IF there are good references.

Monday 10 Oct;

Lessons taken from the first month.Looking back on the process we’ve been going through since our induction days has been an interesting if humbling experience not least because I really had no idea about how we were to function as a group – working over the web and each working on parts of various projects. I’m very much used to working alone and thinking with my hands.
That last aspect was very much in evidence as we ‘played’ with the Lego and came up with inventive  ‘stories’ and meanings to our creations.
The idea of keeping notes is almost an anathema to me as it’s something I’ve never done and even when I work off plans I get a mental image of what the project (renovation/extension) must look like and I simply put everything in place to make the picture. When someone then says ‘‘do you remember how it looked before’’  I honestly can never do so. The process for me is to work to a defined end and I keep the end in sight till I’m there.
Reading Linda’s notes – as scribe – has me thinking along very different lines and I realise that I will have for the first time ever have to share my thought processes not only with fellow workers but with ‘outside’ persons that can see the greater picture – long before it’s revealed to us.
It means that there will be a follow-me-home trail if we ever get lost and that’s probably the point of the exercise.
I can see that this is a process that can and must be brought into our business world so that in fact if a manager or a process ever is incommoded that the business can still function.

Monday 3rd Oct.

Read a little on Emotional Intelligence and wrote up about it. Can’t shake the feeling that everything we do is going to be knocked back because we’re moving too fast. It’s hard to take baby steps when one has spent a lifetime jumping through hoops.

Wednesday 29th 2011

We’re actually working on projects and problem-solving. It’s been a steep learning curve – new g-mail accounts and chatrooms and then Moodle and yesterday our first ‘lesson’ via Adobe video link. 4 of us from Group 2 trying to tease out the base-line of the ‘trigger question’ we were given. Apparently this is the Harvard way – ‘Problem Based Learning.

The group is given a scenario and we must draw our own conclusions from it and try to get under the skin of the situation and come up with some very basic assumptions – ones that are so obvious (it seems) that we don’t really express them but launch into problem-solving-mode immediately. It’s all rather confusing really.

Thursday 15th Sept.

Exhausted after the ‘fun and games’ of the last two days. We commenced on Tuesday with a welcome that rather extended itself and made a bit of a joke about the myriad warnings we were getting about time-keeping. In fairness it wasn’t the academics who were at fault.

We got to ‘play’ a little with lego – by way of showing that serious work can be performed while we get on with our daily lives – nothing new to me – I know I think best when my hands are busy (ask any girlfriend from my teenage years). What WAS funny was several of my fellow students telling us about how they brought their child to first-day-of-school the previous week and now daddy/mammy had Their first day of school this week. And we too got to play with Lego.  I could easily have been saying I’d brought my grandchild to first day – alas that’s not ever to be methinks.

The lectures were hot and heavy – in more ways than one (our room gets stuffy quickly and the windows open out above an area where other students tend to congregate) and if the tempo continues we’ll learn more in one semester than I ever thought possible – even for a philomath such as I, it’s daunting. But GREAT.

Learning about the core-values of writing and keeping a journal seemed to be a bit OTT but I can see where their coming from. Again something I feel I could do with coaching in. Keeping a journal is always a good idea – if only to have something scandalous to read at a later date. (with a nod to Oscar).

Sept 15th First Friday of collage; We (our new Group-2) newbies had to come to grips with writing and editing a word Doc and keeping tabs on how, where etc by keeping a G-pad open at the same time – the original 30 mins quickly became 70 but we did it (collectively) and feel justly proud. – I’m aware most 17yr olds can do it in 5 – 10 mins but then they can’t do all the things I/we do.

I’ve decided I’m an opsimthic philonist.

Youth I fear is wasted on the young. – Again dear Oscar.

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Off to college: How about becoming a green student?

Posted by Murielle in green living, Sustainable living, sustainable living, 10 Sep 2011

Going green has become fashionable in recent years, but it’s more than just a fad: conservation and green initiatives are now integral parts of many college campuses. Even if your college campus doesn’t participate in green initiatives, there steps you can take as an individual that will translate to real impact.

Don’t be a litterbug

Image source stock.xchng

Seems simple, right? But the amount of trash the average American produces in just one day is staggering: more than four pounds of solid waste, ranging from plastic eating utensils to office paper. You can reduce the amount of waste you produce by taking just a few simple steps: reusing paper for notes instead of throwing out half-printed sheets, bringing your lunch to campus in reusable containers instead of eating out of disposable containers, and setting your computer to save energy are just a few ways to reduce the amount of trash you produce every day.

Attend college online
Online education is becoming popular for many reasons, including schedule flexibility and convenience. But it’s also a great way to save money and to conserve energy: instead of driving to campus or taking public transportation, you can earn a degree from a quality university without attending face-to-face classes. You could even recruit some of your online classmates and create an online student conservation club, sharing ways to save energy and reduce your collective carbon footprint.

Start a campus community garden

Community gardening is another way for students to use campus resources to help others. Colleges all over the country are maintaining gardens as a way to help feed students on campus, as well as communities near their campuses. By learning how to grow and harvest food, students are giving each other lessons in sustainable farming practices, as well as how supporting local farmers can improve the local economy.

Make your home or dorm green

Your green efforts don’t have to stop once you go home or back to your dorm room. Simple practices like unplugging appliances you’re not using and turning off the lights when you leave a room can add up to noticeable savings on your energy bill each month. Spending less time in the shower, running your dishwasher and clothes washer only when they’re full, and recycling aquarium water to water your plants are just a few ways you can conserve water. And once you find a list of daily tips that work for you, share them with neighbors, roommates and classmates.

Going green and staying green can be tough. Old habits die hard, and remembering to take just a few of these steps every day will take practice. But making the change to live a green lifestyle impacts not just your own life but the lives of others and the overall health of the planet. Being a green student is just one of the important lessons you can learn during your college years and one of the best lessons to take with you once you graduate.

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University plans to make its students model graduates

GENEVIEVE CARBERY

DUBLIN CITY University is seeking to instill employer-friendly “attributes” in graduates. The university has identified six characteristics that it believes will prepare graduates for “work in the 21st century”.

The model graduate will be “creative and enterprising, committed to continuous learning, solution-oriented, effective communicators, globally engaged and active leaders”, the university says.

The Generation 21 plan, to begin next week with the start of term, is “a recognition that the world of employment is looking for a more rounded graduate”, DCU president Prof Brian MacCraith said.

It will “change the way the university prepares and shapes graduates for life and work in the 21st century”, the university explained in a statement .

The move may not sit well with traditional educationalists. However, Prof MacCraith said the end of the “job for life” meant graduates had to be ready for “lifetime employability” .

“It’s our responsibility to ensure we’ve done all we can to make sure they are developing the attributes that we know employers want today,” he said.

In order to achieve this the university will try to develop skills that it says underpin the attributes, such as digital intelligence and ethical standards.

This will be done both inside and outside the lecture theatre and progress will be monitored, the university says.

To that aim it has reviewed over 2,500 of its modules to map the outcomes from each programme and identify gaps.

Each student will have an electronic portfolio to monitor their learning and use to show employers a “validated record of personal development”, and “if the portfolio is blank that tells its own story”, Prof MacCraith said.

To develop entrepreneurship, for example, initiatives such as campus business plan competitions and bringing role models to speak to students will be introduced, Prof MacCraith said.

He acknowledged that not all graduates would emerge entrepreneurs because of an “innate spectrum of abilities”. It “can instil in them the concept of enterprise and taking a risk”, he said.

Prof MacCraith said a similar approach could be taken in reform of first and second-level education.

John Hennessy, chairman of the the Higher Education Authority, said this philosophy “must become more pervasive” in higher education. Institutions “must play a role” not only in the academic aspect of students “but also other skills – such as leadership and enhanced citizenship”, he said.

Minister for Education Ruairí Quinn congratulated the university for its “vision and foresight” and said ensuring graduates were “relevant and ready for the world they live in” was a “critical part of educational reform”.

Prof MacCraith led the initiative after consultations with employers, staff and students of what they considered important in graduates.

The three graduate skills identified by employers as most important during uncertain economic times were being hard-working, flexible and good communicators, according to a Red C survey of 1,000 employers conducted for DCU last week.